Now That We've Got Them

Some leaders of the so-called "civilized" world have taken it upon themselves to denounce our missile program as being "dangerous" or "irresponsible" or even "photo-shopped". Nothing could be further from the truth! We understand the demands and responsibilities that this recent advance places upon us. We are ready to take our place on the world stage as true powers.

We will not disarm. It is imperative that our blogs be well defended and protected from external pressures. This is why we developed the missile technology in the first place!

However, if we were to disarm, we would need security assurances from the international community. As well, we have a list of demands:

1. Financial aid. In the form of a hundred million dollars.
2. Food aid. In the form of delicious foods.
3. Dissertation aid. In the form of someone to write dissertations for us.
4. Cooking aid. See food aid above.

This list is not very extensive, nor, I think, is it outrageous to ask for such assistance. Having a blog is very difficult in these modern times. We are set upon by our neighbors and have very little to protect us. I think our position is clear.

And don't try anything fishy. We are arranging for a P.O. Box for receipt of the food aid and the hundred million dollars. And probably we'll get one of our friends to check it, so you wont catch us that way!