A Man Named Peter

For those of you who don't know, I work with my father; often in fairly close proximity. And my father almost exclusively uses speaker-phone. Which means that I am often bombarded with his phone conversations. Also worth mentioning, though he goes by Peter his actual name is not Peter, it's Pierre.

Today, my father accidentally booked the wrong flight, so he calls in to change the ticket. He gets a chatty woman in a very good mood. She's helpful and friendly (and resolved the ticket issue), but she notices something weird about his account. Specifically, his frequent flier miles weren't being credited properly.

Which led to this brilliant snippet*:
C: "Well, is your name Peter or Pierre."
P: "Both. My actual name is Pierre, but I go by Peter."
C: "Why?"
P: "Because I don't speak French!"

It turns out that due to the first-name conflict, Continental's been jipping my dad out of his frequent flier credit for the last few times he's flown. So she tranfers him to Continental's One-Pass customer support. This woman is highly trained (ninja/customer-support/astronaut), though she confesses early on that she can't help at all. (I think my father must have suspected she was lying)

After a few minutes of trying to cajole her into doing what she repeatedly says she cannot, my father comes up with this doozie*... "I know you're a smart person and I am not going to insult your intelligence by saying that you don't know that 'Pierre' is the French word for 'Peter' because you obviously know that. Everyone knows that. But the machine doesn't know that and that's the problem. Clearly you're smarter than the computer.¹"

This is how I know that she was highly trained (perhaps as a Jedi). Because she didn't react at all. In fact, after my father called her a complete and utter moron she patiently explained what he would need to do to resolve this issue.

A fun time was had by all! It's amazing any of us gets any work done.

*Not an exact quote
¹I'm actually a little surprised this didn't work. My father is pretty effective on the phone. Like Jack Bauer or American Idol, my father's methods sometimes make me cringe but they often get results.