Lead is the new Mercury
In the wake of some unsettling news about lipstick, there's a stunning new common-product-contains-lead revelation. This time, it's christmas lights.
So, if you're wondering how come you didn't crack 1300 on your SATs or why you're always the last one to get the joke, it's because you celebrated christmas with LEAD TAINTED LIGHT-BULBS...
My family also had the tradition of eating the bulbs after the holiday season ended. Fortunately, that doesn't seem to be a common practice. But I am putting my foot down, I don't care how fun it is, stop eating christmas lights! I mean it!
2 comments:
Holy crap, first lipstick, now X mas lights--What the heck are we supposed to munch on??!
You realize, of course, that this explains why butch Jewish women are so smart. (No lipstick, no lights.)
They are chosen by god because they don't eat lead.
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