Yogurt Battle!

As many of you know, Nelly and I have been living together for a few months now. Overall it has been a wonderful experience. However, while this arrangement has been blissful for the two of us, there are signs that some sectarian strife may be bubbling under the surface.

Take for example, this shocking scene which I witnessed in the fridge the other day.

I am fortunate that I had a camera available to document this brutality. The Yoplaits, apparently used to dominating Nelly's fridge, weren't willing to put up with sharing space with my Dannon coffee yogurts. And once they had numerical superiority (due to the irresistable deliciousness of Dannon coffee yogurt) they mercilessly attacked the one remaining cup.

Clearly the Yoplait Whips! was the firebrand of this gang of yogurt thugs. And I am glad to say that she has since received a just punishment.

Everyone knows that Dannon and Yoplait have fundamental differences, but why can't they focus on the things that bring them together? Like that they are yogurt? I mean, isn't surviving in this crazy world hard enough? When yogurt turns on yogurt, can the end be far behind?

It may just be the conspiracy theorist in me, but isn't it suspicious to see the Arm & Hammer box peeking out from behind the box of strawberries. Arm & Hammer has been in the fridge since nearly day-one. And I would say that nothing happens in that space that he is not aware of. Could he have goaded the Yoplaits, whipped them into a frenzy (pun intended?) and sent them after the upstart Dannons? Were the Dannons getting cocky, muscling in on his territory. Is this what the Arm & Hammer people mean when they say "odor control"?

And I have to say that I feel terribly conflicted seeing the Baby Bell cow laughing merrily at this scene. As though it was concocted for the cow's enjoyment. Does she feel no compassion for her fellow fridge-dweller? They are both dairy products, after all. And one day, perhaps, Arm & Hammer will be coming after her as well.