The Patriots are Lame

There's so much I could say about yesterday's superbowl. Where to start? Should I start by noting that Donnovan McNabb somehow both overperformed and underperformed in his first Super Bowl? Should I start by dissing Tom Brady and the Patriots offense?

No, I'll start with the silly commentators and analysis. Going into half-time, tied 7-7 in a game where the Eagles had turned the ball over twice already, the commentators all started talking about the things the Patriots needed to do to take over the game. No one mentioned the stifling Eagles defense, nor the way McNabb seemed to be trying too hard on every throw.

After the game, the talk was all about how the Pats were a "Dynasty". How impressive they were in these past two seasons. How dominant a performance they'd put on.

Hey guys, I hate to break it to you, but 24-21 isn't dominance. It's eeking out a win. But that's the way the Pats play. That's why I hate them.

It's taken me a while to formulate this concept. I've known for the better part of two years that the one team in all of pro-football that I really really don't like is the New England Patriots. (And it's not just that they aren't named after a city.) They play ugly. (And not ugly in the smash-mouth, down in the trenches and the mud way). They make football gross.

They win by making their opponents play badly. And for those of us who appreciate the skill of the game, the effortless grace with which these tremendous athletes perform incredible feats, it's really kinda depressing. (See the Patriots absolute trouncings of P. Manning and the dazzling Colts)

It gave me hope to see Terrel Owens shake off ankle surgery (is it possible that the eagles intentionally exegerated TO's injury?) and have his way all over the field. And for most of the first half, as the stifling Eagles defense shut down, fluster and confuse Tom Brady, I started to believe that skill and determination would win out.

Even in the second half, down by two scores, the Eagles wide receivers were keeping that spark alive. Down until the Eagles, unexplainably, let the punt fall and roll down to the four yard line I still held out hope that the Eagles just had so much of the beautiful game that the Patriots couldn't uglify the game enough to win.

But no. Alas.