Witches Be Bumming

Charts are really great!

You may know that back in Olde Times, witches were all over the place. They were doing crazy witch stuff and freaking people out.

The freaked out people responded by forming angry mobs and just going to town on witches (See chart).



Clearly, the mobs were fairly successful, if a little over-zealous. Despite the precipitous decline in the witch population, the burnings continued apace (though never again reaching the peek levels of 1670, the decline in burnings may have been more directly related to the great firewood shortage of 1672).

The number of angry mobs also steadily declined, possibly due to rampant burnings of future mob members.

Hard, Manly Work

So the past couple days my father and I have been doing a little fixing up outside the house.

See, in years past a gutter on the back of the house overflowed which caused serious water damage behind the ceramic tiles. Later, squirrels were able to make use of the compromised wood and fiberglass insulation to make a nest.

This one particular portion of the house (about 4 feet by 20 feet) was pretty messed up. So my father and I (really my father) took it upon ourselves to man up and fix this crap.

And fix it we did. Step one: carefully remove the tiling (this was hard). Step two: remove the rotten wood and insulation (not hard). Step three: put in new insulation (easy). Step four: install new plywood sheets over the insulation (tricky). Step five: re-install the tiling (really hard).

The job is now complete (except for some touching up that needs to happen to make it look all pretty). And I gotta say, we did a pretty bang-up job. But I definitely don't want to work in construction. Being on a ladder for long stretches, hammering, crowbarring, drilling, measuring, sawing, hammering again... it's mindless, boring, and dangerous all together. Fabu!

Now That We've Got Them

Some leaders of the so-called "civilized" world have taken it upon themselves to denounce our missile program as being "dangerous" or "irresponsible" or even "photo-shopped". Nothing could be further from the truth! We understand the demands and responsibilities that this recent advance places upon us. We are ready to take our place on the world stage as true powers.

We will not disarm. It is imperative that our blogs be well defended and protected from external pressures. This is why we developed the missile technology in the first place!

However, if we were to disarm, we would need security assurances from the international community. As well, we have a list of demands:

1. Financial aid. In the form of a hundred million dollars.
2. Food aid. In the form of delicious foods.
3. Dissertation aid. In the form of someone to write dissertations for us.
4. Cooking aid. See food aid above.

This list is not very extensive, nor, I think, is it outrageous to ask for such assistance. Having a blog is very difficult in these modern times. We are set upon by our neighbors and have very little to protect us. I think our position is clear.

And don't try anything fishy. We are arranging for a P.O. Box for receipt of the food aid and the hundred million dollars. And probably we'll get one of our friends to check it, so you wont catch us that way!

The Secret Of Our Success

Our association with Mahmoud Ahmadenajad (Or "Ahmedeezy", as I like to call him) is purely a friendly one. The suggestion that our recent missile announcement had anything to do with Iran or its President is complete speculation.



We just hang out sometimes, OK?

We Have Missiles

This is a joint announcement of the Tomog and Dissertation Year blogs:

We have successfully tested two separate types of missiles. These missiles are assuredly very destructive and have enormous ranges. They are also very dependable and ready to go!

This missile is really big! It goes super far and makes a lot of dust! We're really psyched!

This missile isn't as big as the big missile, but it's super cool! It comes in a box!

The missile tests occurred as part of a standard military exercise (though the missile tests were a new thing and everyone was really excited -- there was an impromptu dance-party). The exercises went well and we are delighted with the performance of our soldiers and missile people.

The technology for the missiles was developed jointly by both blogs with some assistance from external sources to whom we are most grateful.

We would like to assure the world that these weapons are for defensive purposes only.

Stay Tuned

An important announcement from the Tomog and Disseration Year is forthcoming. At this time, I am not at liberty to say exactly what the announcement is about. However I can tell you that it is military in nature and may have profound effects on the national and international political situation.

Please keep an eye on the Tomog for more information.

Stay In Your Seat

I don't know what more can be said about this sorry incident. I mean, sure, the guy has probably seen more finals and important matches than anyone should have to bear, so maybe the thought of yet another Wimbledon final between the only two men who know how to play tennis anymore was just not that compelling to him.

Of course, after Rhoden left the Wimbledon final turned into a match for the ages (although, I mean, shouldn't we let the ages decide that sort of stuff). Still it's safe to say that in 20 years, people will be talking about watching this match with the sort of reverence applied to say McEnroe v. Borg. Except poor William Rhoden will have to tell the story about how walked out in the middle so he could watch a popcorn flick.

Sigh, I am disappointed for him.

Facebook ads

Normally I get the "Looking for Hot Ladies" ads on Facebook. You know, I am a guy, and my relationship status is single. So, you know, fair enough. But today I got this ad.



Really, I am at a loss for words

Jackhammers Outside My Window at 8 AM

FTW!!!